What do you mean wait? Haven't you heard of INSTANT gratification?!

Ok, so I'll admit that I am not the most patient of women...I can hear my husband laughing at that comment...hysterically. I expect results and I like things to be completed and completed correctly. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

When I am in front of a class full of students, teaching, and there are a thousand questions, I have no problem with patience. When a student doesn't bring in their assignment for the 3rd day in a row; I had patience the first two days, now it's gone. When my children ignore me after I ask them to do something...no patience. When I have to wait on an item that I really want, patience leaves quickly. That is why I work with computers and technology...I hit a button and results follow immediately...no waiting required.

My husband recently taught a lesson in VBS about Abraham and Isaac and in his message he touched briefly upon how long Abraham waited for his promised son Isaac. God first came to him with the promise of Isaac when Abraham was 75 years old and Isaac was born when Abraham was 100 years old. By my calculations, that is 25 years. Wow, that is a long time to wait for anything, let alone a promised child. I'm not so sure that I would be able to hold out that long.

Though Abraham and Sarah's faith did not falter, their obedience and patience did, resulting in the birth of Ishmael...a child, but not their child and not the child promised of God. This disobedience opened up a whole new can of worms that I won't get into now...and I'd like to avoid any more drama in my life!

As I listened to my husband, I couldn't help but draw a parallel between the situation that I currently find myself in and what Abraham and Sara went through...with a few variances of course. God didn't come to me and promise a child that will produce many nations...Although I often tell my husband that I wish God would just come and tell me what to do, so I can follow His known will instead of fumbling around and messing things up. That would be so much easier!

Anyway, the most apparent similarity is that I am waiting for God to send us a child, and waiting and waiting and waiting. Why the waiting is so difficult, aside from Jacob's death, is that I really haven't had to wait in this area before. Trystan was a complete surprise and Jacob was wanted, but conceived way earlier than doctor's expected....see no waiting.

It has been 17 months since Jacob's death; we have been "trying" to conceive for 14 months, and I have had one confirmed but we suspect two miscarriages. So, what's the deal??? Why the wait??? Come on Lord, I am 30, the clock is ticking...and in rushes the fear. What if something is wrong? What if I can't get pregnant? I'm not ready to be without a child yet, I only have six active parenting years left with Trystan....Hold on, I need a paper bag!!!

This is where I have to catch my breath and TRY to turn to scripture...and then remember my husband telling me that God does talk to us, but we have to read His words to find His messages.

Psalms 27:14 says "Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall
strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."

Psalms 33:20 says "Our soul waiteth for the LORD: he is our help and our
shield."

Psalms 37:7 says "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not
thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who
bringeth wicked devices to pass."

So, maybe what is expected of me at this time is obedience. Obedience to wait on God. This is proving to be a difficult task for me. But really, I have no choice but to wait. Obviously, I can't make myself become pregnant or we wouldn't be having this discussion, nor would I be hyperventilating. So maybe it is the manner in which I wait or the attitude that I have while waiting that needs attention.

Though difficult at times, I can control what I focus on while waiting. I can push the negative thoughts away and lay my fears at God's feet. I can read God's word and PRAY. I can trust in God and His promises; and so can you.

Have a Blessed Day!