Just Keep Swimming...

Thanks to mean people who create and deploy viruses, my computer has been non functional for several weeks; so I'm hijacking a few minutes at school to post an update and I'm not sure when the next post will be. I'm praying for the possibility of a laptop for my upcoming b-day, so we'll see.

Things are moving along...slowly. As of today, I am 11wks and 4days along and can only fit comfortably into 1 pair of regular jeans and 1 pair of regular dress pants.

This pregnancy is soooo much different that the last two. I am soooo sick, the nausea is unbelievable. I am not able to have either of my favorite things, coffee (or any caffinated beverage) or chocolate (actually anything sweet has my stomach rolling). I am having cravings, but when I eat what I was craving, it makes me sick...AND I am soooooo tired. I am a night owl, early for me is 11:30 to 12:00pm and I have been in bed and passed out by 8:30 almost every night. Oh and I can smell literally everything.

On the bright side, I am eating much healthier than I have before. I am able to tolerate water and lots of it, fruit, and just about any kind of veggie salad. I have switched to whole grain everything and now have a taste for almonds...plain almonds. Weird hu. But I still like the carbs...potatoes, stuffing, french fries...Hello lover!!!

One thing I am craving is a Subway Tuna sandwich, but I have heard that tuna has been linked to Autism. Do any of you know about that??

Yesterday we found out that another teacher at my school is pregnant, about 7 weeks. So just a little behind me, and for some strange reason I found that to be comforting as far as my fears are concerned. Maybe it's the strength in numbers thing...LOL...I don't know.

I am still having the afraid of dying issue, but I think I am coming around as things move along. the thought still crosses my mind, but I don't feel so panicky about it. But as I said before, I have had this fear since Jacob passed. I just keep reminding myself that women have babies everyday and both mom and baby are fine.

I am still in the cautiously optimistic stage but have set up a vote boy vote girl station in my classroom for my students to put in for what they think I am having. Rick and just about all of my family and friends think it Will be a girl; but I really don't care as long as we are both alive and healthy in the end.

February 26th is Jacob's would be 2nd birthday and we are going to have a graveside balloon release in his honor. Be praying about this as I want to but don't want to do it. We are going to fill balloons with helium and a salvation message; then release them on his birthday. Our hopes in doing this are for someone to run across one of the balloons and receive the salvation message in turn accepting Christ. And also to ensure that Jacob is never forgotten. I have found that as time passes, the physical wounds heal, and the reminders of him begin to fade. Like the picture on the wall that you walk by everyday but don't really notice. When there isn't an active reminder, it is almost as if nothing really happened. So his puts us in a place where we are choosing to actively remember him. I'm sure it will be difficult, but God will have His hands on us and it will be fine.

I am back to the OBGYN next Friday, the 12th for my 12 week check up and sonogram, so I hope to have more good news and pictures to share. But in case my pc is still down, I wish you all a wonderful Valentines Day and know that I think of you often.

Have a Blessed Day,
April

Call To Prayer...A Mom in Need

Have you ever felt like your world is going down an endless downward spiral?? I have, and for the past few days another mom blogger has been on my mind and in my heart. Her name is Emily and she is over at Mumblings from Troy Ohio.

I'm not sure how Emily found my blog, but she left a comment on my Why Ask Why post. From her comment I linked to her blog and started reading. What I found both touched and shocked me. See Emily had lost her baby girl, Leila, at 20 weeks and she was already blogging about what she was going through. It took me a year and a half to take that step. Emily has a husband and a little boy, Andrew, who are also dealing with the grief of loosing little Leila.

My call to you is to pray for her, send her a kind or encouraging word, let her know that she is not alone.

When I first "met" Emily, she was walking close to Jesus, leaning on Him for strength and there were glimpses of light in the darkness. But over the past weeks of following Emily, I am reminded of the many emotions that I went through right after Jacob's death and the fears of facing people. Of people looking at me and whispering to the person next to them, "hey, there's that lady who's baby died." I know too well how easy it is to let the darkness and despair come over you. The emotions are sometimes so overwhelming and it is so easy to just let the sadness overtake you and put you in a place where nothing else matters. She and her family need our prayers.

Emily, if you are reading this; here is my prayer for you...

Dear Lord, PLEASE hear my prayer for a friend that I have never met. I know that you are there with her and that you share her pain.

Please Lord, put your protective arms around Emily and infuse her with the strength that she needs. Whisper to her heart that you are there and that you hold her perfect Leila in your arms just as you are holding her.

Please Lord take her pain away and replace it with the knowledge that she will see her little girl again and with the hope that in time she will understand your ways. Let her know that she is loved and feel that she is needed.

Please Lord, lay it on other's heart to pray for her, to reach out to her and her family. Send her a person who will help her to laugh again as you sent those to me. Give that person the strength to pull her up by her bootstraps and show her how to walk again.

Please Lord, help her to overcome the fear and sadness that threaten to overcome her. Help her to open her eyes and look into the eyes of her family and know that they need her.

Please Lord, call her close to you that she may feel peace in a raging storm.

Amen

Psalms 34:4: "I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."

Have a Blessed Day...